shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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