True but thats because hes a fetus.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
