shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
