like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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