Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize