Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
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