PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
do herpes really smell.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
