so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
