Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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