I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize