do herpes really smell.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
