This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
