So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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