we have officially lost it.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
