Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
