I'm going to rape someone's good day.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
