my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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