This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
