i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i just had sex bonerless
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Randomize
