i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
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