Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
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