dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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