What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
