Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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