do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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