Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I don't think brook has ever known best
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
