my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
