is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
