Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
