I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
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