it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
