Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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