Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize