What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
