and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
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