; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I accidentally had phone sex last night
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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