eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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