The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
