we made out on top of his cat.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
