You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
