she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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