he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
dude i'm inner monologue high
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
