i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
