Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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