Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
