i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
