In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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