I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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