OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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