Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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