but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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