Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
