better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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