okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Randomize
