did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize