No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
My breasts were aching with rage.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Terrible idea I love it
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
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