you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
