Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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