I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
