After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
