Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
