if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
