Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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