Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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