We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
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