You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
