don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
