We're facebook friends in real life
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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