did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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