Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
