so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Edward fifth and chaser hands
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
