So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Randomize
