Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
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