Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
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