Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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